We have been tucked in cozy at Arroyo Seco campground somewhere east of Big Sur for the week thus far. It was the only campsite I could find with availabiliy during Thanksgiving week. Who knew that this holiday was a big camping holiday? According to our camp host here, it is highly unusual that they are fully booked. Maybe it’s a new trend? Maybe a reflection of Covid?
Regardless of why, we feel extremely grateful to have found ourselves here and very happy that all the costal beach camping was taken up. We are nestled in under big beautiful trees, in a valley with bright green grasses and rolling hills in the distance. The temps are perfection and aside from the fire ban, we feel utterly at home with each other; albeit thousands of miles away from our families sitting together eating turkey.
Our few weeks in San Diego filled up our buckets while simultaneously draining them. We left there with an acute feeling of connection with friends and their families that surprised us having not seen anyone in a decade. It was a beautifully memorable experience for us to be pulled in with open arms by so many distant friends. We feel indebted by their kindness to rearrange busy weeks, make us food, invite us into homes, bring over carry out, and even give us the keys to the house for a few nights! We only hope to make others feel that way if and when we can in the future.
All that being said, we left physically tired, with colds, coughs and a strong yearning to get back in touch with nature. In San Diego we fought our way along crowded 5 lane highways, packed parking lots and hoards of people along the boardwalks.
I am FULLY aware of the place of privilege that I am coming from and I am actually disgusted by how I am recounting these past several weeks. But let me say, I am in a place in life where I am utterly aware of my environment, surroundings, temperatures, landscape, cleanliness- you name it. Because that is what impacts our day to day. There is no coming home to the controlled environment of a house. No switching on the thermostat to the perfect temp, cozying up on the oversized sofa after a long day, ordering take out and finishing the day with a long hot shower. Nope, not in this world. Loud campers in the site next to us? Damn. Another night in a Walmart parking lot? That’s a bummer. Bugs at this campground? Check your shoes before putting your toes in. Get it? We are honing in all the elements that either make us feel depleted or make us feel energized.
That being said, these past few days have given us the much needed glimpse into the beautiful good that can be this adventure. Geo and I (in full disclosure here) purposely choose not to pick up any alcoholic beverages for this week in an attempt to detox our bodies and minds. We have been on edge with our kids, loosing tempers, expecting too much, complaining to each other about why this is all just. so. hard.
And then we arrived at Arroyo Seco and felt an immediate sense of calm as we left the highway some 30 miles behind us and descended into the beautiful and peaceful oasis. We have no service here so we drove out the next morning to tell the family we won’t be connected until the weekend and then came back and put our phones away. And our days are happy. Filled with moving our bodies in nature, quiet afternoons playing games together, the kids exploring and climbing trees. The list goes on and on. We have found joy in our kids and seen them in a new light. Our two little adventurers, beginning to find their own in all these new places we keep dropping them into. Our daughter, protecting and playing with her little brother instead of whining to us that she is bored. We see her using strategies to self calm- by taking herself on a quiet walk rather than making everyone around her aware of her misery. She’s crossing cold rivers and walking back to the van without being negative or complaining!! (this is HUGE). And our guy- he’s always just been up for the ride, but he loves his sissy so much and watching him have her as a playmate has given us a sense of relief that is palpable.
We are not the keepers of our children’s happiness, nor should we be. They need to feel all the things- fear and consequently bravery, anger turn into solutions, boredom evolving into freedom to create their own experience. We roll pretty hands off when it comes to their daily entertainmet. Free play is increadibly important to me as a learning tool for how they see the world and their power within it. Because at the end of the day, it is in their own minds and the self dialogue within those minds that will create their life experiences; for better or for worse. And the stronger that sense of self is from an early age, the more power they will yield within themselves when faced with what life will bring.
